Wait what? You want me to do what? You want me to start my own floral business?
I am not capable. I'm not that smart. I'm not that brave. I'm not that confident. I'm barely treading above water everyday. I am a constant mess. You can't really believe I should open a business at this point in my life.
That was me battling God. I could not for the life of me figure out why I felt this constant push to open a floral event business. I questioned constantly. That's not really God talking to me. That wasn't really a sign that I should jump in. That wasn't another sign. 🤔Those people in my life don't really know me. I AM NOT good enough.
God if this is really where you want me, just show me my next steps.
Let's back track a little.
After graduating High School, I went straight to Southeastern Oklahoma State University in Durant, OK. (You know the school where Dennis Rodman began 🏀) I was going to school to become a Special Education Teacher.
While I was in college, I got married to Beane. The following year, I graduated in December of 2011. The next month we became pregnant with our first daughter. That was NOT in the 5 year plan.
Beane and I had decided, before we had kids, that when we did have children I would be a stay at home mom. So instead of looking for a full time teaching job, I began substituting full-time.
During that time my dad was toying with the idea of putting a flower shop inside of his jewelry store. Giving my mom the opportunity to retire from teaching and work alongside him. The idea quickly became reality. My dad hired an employee with a floral background who showed my mom and I the floral ropes. Instead of my mom retiring right away, I was able to work during my pregnancy and help grow the business.
After baby girl arrived, I was able to bring her with me to the shop! Eventually, Mom retired from teaching and came to work at the shop too. After she retired, we both attended the Oklahoma Floral Association Certified Florist program. That is where I really began to feel the big FLOWER JOY! I entered the program pregnant with our second daughter and graduated from the program after she was born.
The girls literally grew up in the flower shop. They followed and mimicked every move we made. It was a true blessing. Not only did I get to continue my new passion for floral design, but I also got to bring my kids with me. It was the best! 🖤
Flash forward a little over a year and my husband was out of a job. So began our next chapter. We relocated to just West of the OKC Metro area. He found a new job and we were in a new world. The first year in Yukon was a big adjustment. We didn't know anyone and had to start finding our way. God placed MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers) into my life. MOPS gave me a place to grow and meet my new community. We found a church family, at FBC Yukon. We began to find our way. And then . . .
Baby Girl number THREE arrived!
Wow! A whole new adventure. During all of these new changes, I continued to help my parent's out at their shop on major holidays. Plus, I started doing designs for the new people in my life. Helping where I could. Loving where I was. Everything was great.
But why am I getting sad?
Why do I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something else?
One morning, it hit me. I had just gotten back from helping with Valentine's Day and I realized that was what I was missing. FLOWERS! 💐
Enter the questions. The roller coaster of emotions.
I had zero intentions of starting my own flower business.
I had zero intentions of going to work while I still had littles in the home.
I didn't understand why all of the sudden that's all I could think of doing?
I began to PRAY.
I'd pray and ask God why I felt this way. I would question if I was really good enough to do this. I would question why now? Why the feeling and pull now? Why not in a few more years when all the girls were in school? What if I fail? What if I'm not good enough? All the people in my circle are married, how in the world would I even find clients?
The questions were ridiculous. I knew why I needed to do this now. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't even attempt to open a business when the girls were in school. I would just go straight back to teaching. I knew that I was capable of doing it with the girls still home. I took them to the shop with me all the time. I knew that there was a reason for the push. I knew that if it was God led the outcome didn't matter.
However, I'm stubborn and still fought back.
I started doing a Bible study on my phone by Ryan Leak entitled Chasing Failure.
It was so inspiring to me. He says, "I had a million excuses as to why I shouldn't even try, but I had one reason that outweighed my excuses: God told me to do it." At the end of the study, he states that "chasing failure took me further than chasing success."
Wow. Ok God, I'm listening.
I realized that even if I failed, it didn't matter. I knew there was a reason God was encouraging me to pursue this chapter.
(Enter a big cleansing breath.)
I began the process of opening Joyous Blooms.
Now, here we are. A year later.
A year of me seeing God more.
A year of FAITH.
A year of FEARS.
A year of DOUBT.
A year of JOY.
365 DAYS OF JOY.
Joy isn't comparable to Happiness. Happiness is temporary. It's material and ever changing. Joy is in the soul. Joy is knowing God's love and showing it to others. Joy is a gift that can't be taken.
JOY is life giving.
This year had all the emotions.
This year was hard.
This year was JOYOUS!
Until next time.